Friday, October 3, 2014

A question of want..

I do not know what keeps our party together.

some sense of loyalty perhaps? Or maybe simply the knowledge that it is dangerous to travel alone.

Even I know the wisdom of traveling in numbers, and the quests that we have undertaken certainly can not be completed on an individual basis.

That being said, I find myself wondering - more often than not of late - about why our party remains together. When given motivation to do so, our party does work well together, and can be devastatingly powerful when we focus our intent. There's a certain amount of squabbling and in-fighting to be expected among any diverse group of adventurers to be certain; but nothing to explain the current level of animosity between us.

Kellyn seems to want nothing more than to pick fights, and becomes irrationally angry when things do not go her way. She constantly takes jabs at Shalev, and ignores advice when it is presented to her, unless it furthers her own needs. She is young, temperamental, and has much to learn about respect, I think. She is powerful, and she seems to think that being powerful excuses her bad behaviors. It does not. It pains me that she has decided to lash out at me directly in this last outburst though, and I do hope that she realizes that her actions, attitudes, and singlemindedness are only hurting herself in the long run.

Lan is as indecipherable and flighty as ever, and I can not begin to fathom what she thinks or why. She seems indifferent to the party, and has often shown little thought towards her actions.

Ishmael seems more comfortable with the group, and has taken on the role of protector and melee fighter; but he still seems almost resigned to his fate.

Fife has proclaimed that he is a bodyguard, and in it for the money and adventure. He is fair, though, and works well with the party as a whole. He is a neutral party though, when it comes to the in-fighting that has been occurring among the others.

Shalev has given himself the role of provider - constantly thinking about supplies and travel concerns, lodging when we are in cities, and resupplying when necessary - and as protector as well. His efforts are rarely appreciated though, and I can't help but feel his frustration at being taken for granted. How long would they last without his careful preparations, I wonder? He is dedicated to me, as my student and my friend, and has proven that he will walk through fire for me. He also trusts me not to abuse that trust

Tobias... I would hope Tobias travels with us for more than just the adventure. He still feels the need to prove himself to me, despite sharing my bed for all this time. I do not quell his attempts, as this is something that he feels he needs to do. He expresses his care for me, and I would hope that he would continue to travel with me should the group decide to split.

The quests that we have undertaken are difficult, to be certain, and there are things that need to be done before others can be completed. I just hope that our party can put aside differences long enough to finish what we've set our hands to do. I do not think the party will split up, but there are moments where I feel like that might, in fact, be an inevitable and necessary outcome.

Time will tell.