Many paths to walk

We each walk our own path. We are each responsible for the steps we take and the choices we make. The road we travel allows us to interact with others, and sometimes paths will cross and weave together for a time.

The party I currently travel with threatens to break itself apart time and time again. It threatens to do so again now. With the other party members being in an uproar over Shalev's recent action, I look at them and I wonder if perhaps this time it will really happen. Fife, Osman, Lan and KelLyn have taken the cart and traveled ahead of us to the next little village. I begin to suspect that, perhaps, they may have gone their own way.

Tobias remains here with me, but I see the anger in his walk. I see his discomfort and I am reminded, yet again, at how young the rest of the party members are. Tobias is my consort and my lover, a companion where I thought I might never have another. Yet his unrelenting ire towards Shalev is proving to be problematic. I think, perhaps, there is a little bit of jealousy there, though there is no reason for it. I wonder if he worries over whether I would choose to remain with him if presented the option. It is a circumstance I hope to never find myself in the middle of.

I wonder, sometimes, why I choose to stay with any of them. I contemplate my own path, the quests that I have set myself to accomplish, and the possibility of just walking away. I do not think I would return to the deep desert. After so much time away from the scorching sands, I feel I have grown softer. More accustomed to the luxuries of traveling with an adventuring party.

For there are certainly luxuries in traveling together. Conversation. Safety in numbers. Surety of supplies. Adventure.

Oh yes. Adventure is definitely a luxury. One that I have discovered that I have a desire for. The other immortals rarely travel outside of their sanctuaries, and so I am unique in that regard. I have a taste for the road that drives me on to see what lies outside of the next horizon, and I do not know how long this current case of wanderlust will last. I do contemplate what I will do once it dissipates. Where I will be. Who will be beside me.

I will outlive them all. That is a fact that I deal with continually. I am immortal. Barring battle or injury, I will remain until the stars die out and beyond. I have seen the stars themselves change. The fade, they die, they are reborn, and I am here as a silent sentinel for it all.

Contemplate Balance

Balance is a state of harmony, that gives you a clear perspective on what is important in Life.

So what is important in mine? 

The balance of which the Mystics speak has nothing to do with the mundane concepts of good & evil. It is the balance of one's Spiritual Life with one's physical life, and balancing the emotional life with the intellectual life. The balance is the attainment of harmony on all planes of your being.

There is a big difference between contemplation & meditation, but often the two are confused. In contemplation, one takes an object or principle, and one focuses upon it. Your concentration becomes immersed in the object of contemplation, until you become one with it. Contemplation is a great tool for discovering truth.

Meditation is very different. In meditation one relaxes the mind. There is no object in meditation. That would be contemplation. Thoughts, images & other sensations may enter your mind, but you pay no attention to them. The point in meditation is to gain control of your mind, ignoring all the whirling thoughts that fly around within it.

The meditation technique that I use, is to focus my consciousness upon my consciousness, and to completely disregard the objects of my consciousness. This isn't easy. The mind likes to be in control, so when you try to meditate, the mind will conjure up all manner of mental phenomena to distract you.

But, if you can learn to merely sit, when you sit; to control your mind in stillness, rather than allowing the mind to lead you around & around, you will discover that the mind can become a most obedient & efficient tool.

Learning how to control one's own mind is one of the greatest problems you will ever encounter, but that solution will also be your greatest triumph. The mind is incredibly powerful. Your thinking processes attract all of the conditions that occur in your life, so mastery in this area should be a key priority. Beliefs about yourself & your capabilities, determine what you can do. All that is required is my will, to learn & do the things that I desire, and then exert the actions that will release those things into happening.

It begins with Meditation.

.oOo..oOo..oOo..oOo.

I miss my home. 
The warm, shifting sands of the deserts are a long way from this fetid, evil swamp. I miss the feel of the sun on my head, and the sand under my feet. The arid feel of warm breezes, and the dry smells of sun-baked earth.

There are moments where I wonder if leaving the desert was worth it, and I also wonder now at what awaits my eventual return. 

Or even if I will return. 

The desert I left will not be there, for that is the way of the desert. Ever changing. My choice remains before me to return to those silken sands, or to make my home elsewhere. The forests near the edge of Qualton call my name. The young entlings in Basil's gardens. The great forest at DruidHome also speaks softly to my memories. 

I also miss the sigh of the leaves in the trees of those forests, the cool shade of giant sweeping branches, and the aching sweetness of soft grass against my feet. The smells of life, of green, growing, healthy things.

Perhaps I will seek a place of balance between the two. Desert and Forest. There are oasis aplenty between the heart of the desert and the edge of the wildlands. Or perhaps I will find somewhere new. For who knows what still awaits, in the adventures ahead? Or where my god and goddess might lead me to go? 

More of Cora's thoughts and observations regarding Balance

Dyro Dduw dy Nawdd;

Ag yn nawdd, nerth;

Ag yn nerth, Deall;

Ag yn Neall, Gwybod;

Ac yngwybod, gwybod y cyfiawn

Ag yngwybod y cyfiawn, i garu;

Ag o garu, caru pob hanfod;

Ag ymhob Hanfod, caru Duw.

Duw a phob Daioni.

___________________________________________________________
Grant, Divinity thy protection
And in Protection, Strength;
And in Strength, Understanding;
And in Understanding, Knowledge;
And in Knowledge, the Knowledge of Justice:
And in the Knowledge of Justice, the Love of it;
And in the Love of it, the Love of All Existences;
And in the Love of All Existences, the Love of Divinity.
_____________________________________________________________

The first word of the prayer is "Grant" so this is about asking for a boon, a gift. And the root gift from which everything else flows in this prayer is Protection. Protection is a first order need which must be met in order to allow "understanding" to flower.

What follows is a series of "one thing leads to another." 

The seed of protection opens and blossoms into... strength. Each subsequent gift flows from the one before, like a series of water bowls positioned one above the other so that the one above pours into and fills the next below and so on. 

Or perhaps we could think of them as concentric ripples on the water's surface: Protection at the centerpoint, the others flowing outward, each still partaking of Protection, but each gift like a different crest of that pattern of waves...

And in Protection Strength...

It might give us strength of body, of course, if we think of how peace and safety are the roots of a productive life, necessary for raising healthy food and attending to our bodies. However, it seems to me particularly to suggest strength of character, a spiritual strength that permits us to grow, the inherent strength of the Oak tree rising tall toward the Sky, delving deep in the Earth, drawing up the Waters of the Land to transform them into Life.

Strength can also be thought of as the basis for life and survival. It is our fundamental sense of security -- that first order need. But it isn't only security, it is also activity. Strength is set off here as distinct from Protection, and so, we receive the gift of divine protection that allows us to develop in such a way that we can protect ourselves and go forth into the world to slay our dragons. 

Strength is often thought of as a warrior virtue. The Warriors - such as Shalev, for example, are the elite and their strength was not only the bodily strength of the farmer and smith. It joined those two strengths into bravery - the ability to face danger and challenge unflinchingly and persevere. 

And in Strength Understanding...

Again, the verb operating throughout the prayer is "Grant" We are granted the boon of protection, which leads to strength, and now this strength gives birth to understanding. Both of body and of character with skill and training to be fearless. Strength, thus prepares us for anything, it is the prerequisite to all kinds of training, and training is the remarkable thing that sets us apart. We are like the beasts in being born with certain abilities and talents, but we can also be trained, educated, and our skills honed far beyond what comes naturally.

One doesn't usually think of strength leading to understanding. But here again, I think the former lays the foundation for the next. Strength is physical and moral strength, the ability to act, to stand up for oneself and one's principles, to engage the world and wrestle with challenges. -- nobility might be another word for it -- the ability to be powerful and to use power wisely and with justice.

So, in Strength [grant] Understanding. What exactly is understanding and why does it come before Knowledge? This puzzled me at first. Doesn't one accumulate Knowledge and then arrive at understanding of how things work?

Understanding is like another sort of Strength. Built upon strength of body, mind, and character, this new power is the power of reason, insight, intuition -- the ability to see patterns in the world around us, to solve problems, to see cause and effect, to envision complex systems. Creating meaning out of the raw materials of experience. We reason create discourses to explain to ourselves the meaning of what we perceive, and what we imagine. 

And in Knowledge, the Knowledge of Justice...

What is Justice anyway? Sometimes we think of it as punishment, or the doling out of punishment to wrong-doers. But the flip side of that notion of Justice is that Justice, were it to rule everyone's heart would result in no wrong-doing. Were Justice to prevail in society as an abstract spirit of god (rather than as a secular system or institution of courts and judges), we would administer it to ourselves before we did any injustice. 

Judgment in this sense means perception, and when guided by wisdom, brings about harmony and balance - that is, I'm not making choices that are extreme or inappropriate when I'm aware of the balance of things. This the middle path of balance between the extremes.

Justice also means I may choose to accept the duty to work for justice and fairness - balance, harmony - for others, for the environment, etc. Justice thus will mean service, doing for others, for the earth, to bring about fairness and harmony. Doing service to others is only helpful for them and a growth process for me when I do it willingly and with commitment and free choice, not out of guilt or feeling 'I should do it" - freely given.

To seek balance is to seek a personal code of ethics. To strive for it, think and meditate about it and most of all, to try and apply the conclusions of the search in everyday life. 

When I conceive of 'justice' as 'balance', and then look at nature, I see that the cycle of life - birth, growth, renewal/conception of new life, and finally, breakdown, leading to death/destruction - is the balance of nature. Is the breakdown and destruction justice? do we find it positive in it? It's surely a natural part of life, basic in nature. 

 Judging people harshly just because they annoy your or you are angry, is not really the sort of justice we want, even if it is technically "just". 

Knowledge of justice to me means knowing that actions have consequences and accepting this, of knowing that we each impact the world around us by simply being here and that we must understand and accept this and attempt that influence to be in the best possible way. 

The love of justice...of balance... is to be completely accepting of this, to love it for what it makes us do and say, to love the world around us because we constantly care for it and to love that which creates this sense of justice within us. 

To realize that by embracing justice we embrace the idea that we are responsible for our actions, that we are not controlled by fate at this level but that we choose what to do with our lives and must accept and bear the consequences of that. 

The eighth man

After the battle with the giants, the party decided to rest and recuperate for a day as we waited for the effects of the Slow spell to wear off of Amit. While we rested, Ishmael used the down time to practice his craft, and he made several tubes of varying sizes out of the metals he carries.

The next day we broke camp and traveled on. Shortly up the road, we came across a very large oak tree that had been recently split by lightning. At the base of the tree lay a man in obvious distress, and a second man was there tending to the injured person. The second man stated that his name was Osman, from the desert area. He spoke desert common in a dialect that Tobias, Shalev, and I all recognized, and seemed quite taken aback when Tobias offered him a formal desert greeting. He returned the greeting somewhat timidly, and then told the party about how he came across the wounded man, and had been tending to his wounds.

As he conversed with the rest of the party, I went over to check on the oak tree to see what could be done. I was able to determine that the tree was still alive, and I attempted to cast a basic druidic spell to help heal the tree. There was no visible effect, but I felt like I succeeded to some degree. Perhaps my spell was able to give it the strength it needed to sustain itself during the regrowth process? Only time will tell, but I could not just leave it there without trying something.

I came back over to the party to see Shalev check the wounded man, and then give him a healing potion. As he regained consciousness, we asked him gently who he was and what he could remember. He said that his name was Bartow, - this is the man that the Count tasked us to find - and that he faked his death in order to discover what happened in the area, but was unfortunately captured anyway. He managed to escape, but was wounded in the process and that the last thing he remembered was collapsing by the great oak tree.

Bartow went on to describe the enemies he faced in great detail – including verifying that the old man did in fact seem to be a harbinger of attack. He described the old man to us as being short of stature and wearing nondescript brown and green rags. He told us of the prisoners that were lead behind the Inn at Waycam, and warned that he did not know what else we might face.

 He seemed confused and still weak from his ordeal, and Osman chimed in at that point telling his side of the story – How he found Bartow gravely wounded, and took cautious steps to care for him during his time of need. Osman then stated that he is a scholar from the desert areas with some knowledge of the lizard folk and that he had ventured out to enhance his knowledge of the creatures. This struck the entire party as rather foolish, as Osman appeared to be neither armed nor armored, nor did he carry any supplies with him. He mentioned quietly that he knew some few spells that he had used to keep himself fed and mildly protected along the way, and I wondered then at how much more there was to this new stranger.

Fife and KelLyn both quipped with wry humor that the peoples of the desert seemed to be everywhere. I wisely kept my opinions to myself on the matter, but took small note of the nature of the gripe. Given the infighting that has gone on between the other party members to date, there might be concern for the mentality of “us vs. them” which, while not the case in the slightest, could cause trouble later on. It’s worth keeping a watchful eye on anyway. I have come to admire or respect each of the party members in their own way, and am loathe to see any rift between them grow.

As Bartow was still obviously weakened, and in no shape to guide us forward, Shalev equipped him with a horse and enough supplies to get him to the Robin’s Breast in safely, then sent him on his way with his word of honor that he would inform the count of our promise to find him, and of our continued progress to restore Waycam and clear the Evil out of the Swamp.

Since Osman had some small knowledge of the lizard men that we faced, and we could provide first-hand knowledge of the creatures, we agreed that he could join the group and travel with us; and after sending Bartow on his way, we gathered our small caravan and continued on for another few hours.

During the third watch that evening, Fife heard voices that forewarned “They’re not moving. Kill them now!”  He immediately threw a spear towards the voices and shouted to KelLyn to wake the party. The monsters attacked Fife, and he again relied on his skills with the spear and his extensive knowledge of boar hunting to kill one of the creatures with his first hit to the face.

Tobias and Shalev were the first to awaken fully, and they also immediately engaged the remaining monsters, only to see two additional foes appear just over the ridge about 60 feet away. Fife then shifted his attack to the new foes while Shalev and Tobias closed with the ogres that were attacking Fife.


KelLyn, having woken the rest of the party, then engaged and cast a spell on the end of Fife’s spear which turned it white-hot. Fife’s aim was true, as it always appears to be, and the spear exploded against the ogre’s face with a shower of molten metal and slag. Fife reacted to the explosion like a child with a new toy, and promptly urged KelLyn to do it again. As she prepared a new spell, Tobias and Shalev took down the two ogres that they battled, and the others turned to flee.

I managed to get a shot off at one of the running ogres, and shortly after that KelLyn's spell goes off.. predictably badly, causing a deafening cone of sound to detonate off into the swamp to the right. Shalev called for Amit to catch and kill the remaining running ogre, and Amit took off like a bolt to attack. Amit used his magically enhanced claws to rake the back of the fleeing ogre, and slowed it down long enough for Ishmael to smash it in the foot with his mace to take it down entirely.

With all of the enemies taken care of, we search their remains to discover more of the embroidered money pouches, this time with 50 silver in each. We check the party members for injuries, and discover that Amit was radiating an evil aura because of the effect of using the magical ability of his claws. Shalev was alarmed by this, and cast dispell evil on Amit, thinking it would cause the aura to disperse. Unfortunately, it caused a grievous wound to the great cat instead, and Amit collapsed. Shalev managed to get a healing potion into him quickly, and the wound was terrible enough that even with the effects of the potion, it took an hour for Amit's wounds to close and knit.

Amit was understandably distressed, and was very wary about letting anyone near him for quite a while after that. Only Lan and KelLyn were able to approach him and they fed him some of the salmon we had in our stores. They managed to get him to calm down enough to allow me to approach him - though with a deep warning growl - and I was able to cast a simple healing spell on him. It felt as if it were successful, and I thanked the god and goddess that he was well, and asked them to add some small blessing to Amit to help aid his recovery.

Shalev was heartbroken that he had caused such unintentional harm to his friend, and he spent quite a long time in prayer to Ma'at. I do not know what it was that she said to him, but after he emerged from his meditations, he asked for a goat so that he could perform a specific rite. She appears, for the first time, to have answered him directly, and that intimate conversation seems to have had some effect on Shalev. Perhaps his goddess has started him on the next steps of his path as a Paladin to her name? Time will tell there, I think. Though he has gained a measure of confidence with his position, he still appears to have some reservations about how he should proceed in some cases. I am concerned that he seems to gravitate towards rigid law, as opposed to the sense of balance that Ma'at represents.

I will pull him aside when I get a moment to gently remind him that balance is not necessarily about always doing the good thing or the right thing, but that maintaining balance can sometimes mean allowing something bad to happen as well. This will be one of his most difficult lessons, I fear, and I hope that I can guide him with what little advice I can give.

On an interesting note, it appears evident that Osman is also a cleric or a paladin of sorts, as he emerged from his tents radiating a sense of faith and power. This would explain his lack of equipment or weapons when we found him, and it bears not only noting, but some careful observation as well. We know little about this new party member so far, and it will be interesting to discover more about him.

Later that afternoon, after the party had rested a little while, we continued down the road and eventually came across the remains of a ravaged village. Fields were burned, houses destroyed. The only remaining structure of any stability was the Inn. The Inn was also gutted and deserted, save for the innkeeper, who was trying to rapidly pack what belongings he could in preparation to leave. The innkeeper informed us that this was, indeed, what was left of Waycam; and he went on to describe the enormous flying creature that came out at night, as well as the crazy old man who squatted on the northern edge of the ruins here. He recalled that the road through here went north to the mountains, or continued straight to the desert, then went on to say that we could keep what wine we found in the inn, for he was leaving and didn't care much what else happened here.

It is possible that he was originally party to the destruction of the village in the first place, but we will never know for certain. After he left, we spent some time searching the remains of the inn, but found nothing remaining of any value. We then continued warily to the north, towards the old man, recalling the warnings that he was possibly some form of harbinger to attacks. We found the poor wretch to the north, in a semi-livable hut, singing to himself about others that had been carried off to the "bad lair". His rambling sing-song told us of Sacatha the great lizard king, who would come to rescue all and renew his kingdom. He knows how to get to the bad place on his raft, but that he would not go there. that he was to remain behind and bear witness to the destruction of all.

We managed to get him to agree to take us out to show us his raft. We left the horses at the stables near the inn, and agreed to hide the bulk of our supplies under the floorboards of the inn to retrieve should we return from the swamp. KelLyn promptly threw a hissyfit about her books, but finally stated crossly that as she did not trust any of the other party members with her things, and agreed to wrap them in oil cloth and hide them with the rest of the supplies. While KelLyn was arguing about her possessions, and angrily muttering about having to choose what to bring with her, Lan discovered that the old man was actually cursed with madness. After several more moments, and some more angry diatribe from KelLyn about being interrupted, Lan managed to convince her to see if she could help remove the curse from the old man. KelLyn reluctantly agreed, and drew a circle on the ground to call the power she needed to break the curse. She was successful, and as soon as she had completed the spell, she went back to sorting through her belongings.

The old man - who was now quite lucid - told us that he remembered fishing, and then being captured. That he was supposed to watch the people to see where they burned. The realization of all he had borne witness to sank in with a shocking realization, and the old man wailed at what he had done. In shock, and wounded to the soul at what had happened here, he tried to kill himself. We were unfortunately not fast enough to stop him from wounding himself, but we succeeded at removing the dagger from his chest and healing him completely before the wound could complete his desire. We promised him gently that he would have a chance to make things right. We sat him down carefully, wrapped him in a warm blanket, and gave him a little food and water to help calm him down.

He wearily told us that the tomb is actually real, and he made the offer to take us there on the raft. At that point Shalev boldly stated that he would destroy the evil, or die trying. Osman and I looked at each other in alarm, as we felt a clerical spell discharge, and we realized that Shalev had managed to geas himself to the task; quite possibly geasing the entire party to the same quest.

I do not think that the rest of the party was paying close enough attention to realize what Shalev had done. It alarms me that he made such a broad statement of intent, and that such a statement carried such a powerfully binding effect. He is still very cavalier with his own life, and it is my quiet thought that perhaps I should remind him that he is both a valued friend to me, and an essential member of the group. I do not know if the binding effect of the geas affects only Shalev, or will affect the entire group.  I fear what may come of this, but I promise to see it through to whatever end may come.

A Balance Druid's Mantra

There is only Nature

I will do what I must to keep the balance.

The balance is what keeps me together.

There is no good without evil, but evil must not be allowed to flourish.

There is passion, yet emotion

Serenity, yet peace

Chaos, yet order

I am the wielder of the flame, the protector of balance.

I am the holder of the torch, lighting the way.

I am the keeper of the flame, soldier of balance.

I am a guardian.

And Suddenly a forest. ..

There is a phrase out in the world:
"You should be careful what you wish for."

Especially when there is a Paladin of Law and Justice involved.

.oOo..oOo..oOo..oOo.

After the failed attempt to kill the Count - and the party along with him - we gathered all of our supplies and provisions with additions by the Count's blessing, and we set out on the road toward Waycom.

Although wary, and on the alert for further attacks or scrying attempts, we traveled without incident. There are several little towns and hamlets along the main road here, and Vendare was the first that we reached. The river Arda flows to just to the south, and Vendare boasted some river traffic, but not much.

We entered the little town uncontested, and used the down time to refresh and scout for rumors of the brigands we hunted. The road has been...quiet.. so far, and although we remain vigilant, there has not been any sign or hint of attack.

Shalev and Fife set out to discover what news they could find, with the cover story that Shalev was in search of new trade goods and potential waypoints for said trade for his family. Fife cautioned him in a quiet aside that while setting himself up as a traveling noble was perfectly fine, that he should be more wary with flashing money around,as most of the people we will be dealing with will have never even seen a gold piece, much less know what to do with one, and that making it openly known that he carries such riches negligently would paint a particularly tempting target on his back.  Shalev agreed to the caution, and pointed out he was going to get more silver from the count, but was unable to do so, as the audience with the Count resulted in a swift departure. He further pointed out that as he was arranging things and paying for them out of his own pocket, suggestions would be more useful then complaints, and Fife offered to pay when needed.

Fife, interestingly enough, seems to have taken to his role as bodyguard rather diligently, and also seems to relish the task of acting as a go-between for Shalev.

After a night in Vendare, and no news to be found, we set back out on the road to Waycam.

The second night on the road, during my watch, I got the distinctly uneasy feeling that we were being watched. I turned quickly, but there was no one behind me. It was then I realized that what I felt was a scrying attempt. -Is this a new ability of mine? I have never been able to discern being scried on before now. Is this a new ability in my growing presence as a Sacred Druid, I wonder? It bears looking into.-

I quietly notified Tobias of what I felt, and we woke KelLyn as it was her turn on watch anyway. She cast a dispell to stop the scrying, but was uncertain if it went off successfully. It apparently did, or whatever ...whomever..was scrying made no further attempts that night.

The following day, we arrived at the next little hamlet on the road - a place called Arth. We made a very brief stop to purchase some sheep to feed Amit - much to the wide eyed disbelief of the inn keeper. We decided to continue on without stopping, however, and after another 4 days, we reached Newcom.

Despite Tobias' extreme dislike of horses, I must admit that having them with us, and being able to travel via horseback has been efficient. These are sturdy animals - built for hard work and farm labor more than speed - but they still are quite convenient for traveling on the road as we have been.

Newcom was much the same as the towns before, and we agreed to spend an evening at the inn, to do some scouting and information gathering as before. The news was that trade was extremely slow due to the constant attacks by brigands and bandits, but oddly enough, we are still unable to discern any further information about the matter.

After another week of easy travel, we come across a lonely inn, off to the side of the road. Here, at last, we are able to gather some new information. Rumors of flying  monsters that come in the night. Again, the evil in the swamp is mentioned, and the terrible confirmation that these flying things are making off with children. The innkeeper there also directs us to the Robin's Breast Inn which is about another week's travel down the road. He says that there is a somewhat average bard that plays there, but that it would undoubtedly be a better place to find the information that we are seeking.

So we set off further down the road. A few days later, we encounter an old man wandering the highway. All of us are instantly alert, as this was one of the warnings we heard from the survivors in the Count's court. That an old man always preceded the attacks. 

We approach the old man with caution, and he tells us that he is searching for his family - his son Merc, and his daughter-in-law Anna - who left Waycom months ago to get away from the growing evil there. This confirms the rumors that we have been hearing, and he gives us little more information other than the city is basically unguarded and that anyone there who is out after dark is never seen again. We manage to get him to agree to travel with us to the inn, where he could rest and regain some of his health.

That night, we are scryed on again, at second watch; and again, I am the one who feels the attempt. This time we woke Shalev who immediately cast a dispel evil - which caused the attempt to cease abruptly.  

The next day, as we continued along the road, we came upon a large colony of ants the size of small dogs. The colony was quite active, and the ants were extremely vicious looking, although they seemed to pay no attention to us as long as we left them alone. As we started to move on, Tobias spoke up and said he wanted to grab a few of the ants to eat.

We all warned him profusely that it was not a wise idea, but he was insistent, saying that seeing the ants made him homesick for a taste of desert food. So we asked him to allow the party to travel down the road for several minutes to put distance between us and the ants before he riled them up. He agreed, and we traveled further ahead. He returned cheerfully and somewhat out of breath, a few minutes later, with a large ant carried on a spear. He laughed and said that was exhilarating fun, and even I had to just smile and shake my head. I forget, sometimes, how very young he is. I think it's part of what endears him to me. He still has the capability to be impulsive.

Later that day, we run upon a straggled group of refugees traveling the opposite direction on the road. We agree to stop and do what we can for them, and they confirm stories from Waycom about flying monsters, evil in the swamp, missing children, and the terrible state of the now failing town. It seems that they are one of yet many groups that are trying to make their way to safety while they still can. Women, children, only a few men. We build a second camp for the group, and set about to refill water skins, cure ailments, and share what food we can spare with them.

I was able to successfully cast a spell to increase the amount of grain that they carry with them. It's not much, but it will hopefully allow  them to stretch their supplies until they can reach the next town, where the five gold pieces Shalev gave them should help them resupply as much as the town will permit. I  also do a small blessing on the party to help protect them as best I can. We warn them of the ant colony - now undoubtedly riled up from Tobias' antics - and they also agree to let the old man travel with them.

A day or so further down the road, on a whim (or perhaps divine inspiration) Shalev casts a dispel evil. We startled into battle-ready alertness when, upon completion of the spell, a group of 12 bandits jumps up screaming and running away. Fife spears one of the fleeing bandits, and Amit brings it back to the group. It was humanoid, but with a lizard's head, tail, and skin. It reeked of evil, which is why Shalev's spell made them bolt. We were unable to find any discerning marks, or identifying paraphernalia on the body though, nor were we able to find anything among the blind where the group was hiding.

Two days later along the road, we surprised an extremely large boar - who immediately charged  the party. Fife warned us all to move out of the way, and that he knew how to handle this; then he deftly speared the animal and killed it. After the boar's death throes were complete, I quietly thanked the animal for it's life to sustain ours.

As we began the long task of butchering the animal for transport, a group of farmers ran out of the brush as well. Obviously they had been chasing the boar, and were awe struck that we... that Fife.. had killed it. They offered us their hospitality, and to help us with the animal carcass, and we readily agree.  

They lead us to their farm, a modest plot of land that had, unfortunately, recently been raided and rampaged through. Fife, Shalev, Ishmael, and the farmers set about butchering the boar - over a ton of animal - and as they work, Tobias takes vigil against attempted attacks and oncoming bandits; and I pull KelLyn and Lan aside and ask for their assistance in blessing the farm to do what we can to bring it back to rights.

I ask KelLyn to attempt to help with the earth, but her spell doesn't work - thankfully with no ill effect - and Lan's spell also only marginally succeeds, giving her only a few kernels of corn.

I took a breath, and focused on the effect of the ritual that I wanted. As a Sacred Druid, I am still quite the fledgling, so a lot of the rituals and spells that I have done have been gut instinct to do so. I follow my heart, and the laws of balance, the feel of the nature around me. So far, it has worked with surprising success.  

I ask Sylvana for a blessing of prosperity on the farm. To allow the crops that still remain to be abundant and healthy. The ritual goes off successfully, but surprisingly with enough power that it completely exhausts me. I collapsed to the ground, and the last thing I remember is Tobias's gentle embrace as he carried me back to camp.

I awoke some time later to the sound of Lan trying to summon a fairy, and I make my way wearily over to the house - and far away from her, remembering her last ....violent success -  to check on the small herb gardens and crops nearer to the house. 

Lan successfully completeed her summons, and a hob... The Robin - Harbinger of Chaos appeared. Apparently Lan had a craving for fish - understandable being the sea creature that she is. However, she goes to strange lengths to get  the fish sometimes. She agreed to marry the hob for a day, in exchange for some fish, and the hob sends his minions out to complete her request.

I performed a brief, gentle check on the crops to find that they were, indeed, in very good health, and I asked Shalev and Tobias to inform the farmers to expect a bountiful crop this year, despite having been raided. They looked at me with surprise. I also shared a small bag of salt with the family there, and some seedlings and cuttings of the herbs that I have. The wife of the farmer shyly offered me a beautiful piece of lacework in exchange, but I desired no gifts in return, and bade her keep it there as a memento of our visit. She named it "Cora's Lace" and laid it across her mantle with pride.

Ishmael came up at that point, and said that he had completed his work at sharpening tools, repairing pots, and improving a stil that the farmers had built for brewing an alcoholic beverage made from the corn. It smelled very much like a weak version of elven brandy, but I had no desire to try it for myself.

Then Robin - Lan's momentary husband - reappeared and his minions began building a one-ton barrel which they then promptly filled with salmon from the nearby river. Once this was done, the minions disappeared, and Robin thanked Lan for allowing him to live - as being married for that day was the only thing that kept Lord Oberon from killing him once a year. He then also faded back into the wilds, and the farmer's wives all murmured to themselves and started doing the rituals that rustic folk  often do when encountering fae folk. Shalev dispelled evil once again, to add his powers to their simple charms, and the hob's minions promptly fled.

Shalev then asked the farmers if they had any barrels, as he was interested in the pungent corn-alcohol that they were making; and was informed that there were no trees, as they had all been cut down long ago to clear for farmland.

KelLyn, Lan, and I shared a look, and a thought, that if we were able to combine our power, that it might be possible. We agreed to make the attempt, and we went across the road to the fallow field there. KelLyn created a circle in the ground, and drew her power, along with the word "Tree" in Fyrewerian. I drew my power, and suddenly Leilanna herself appeared in my mind. She told me that SHE was and is the goddess of reforestation, and that the word I want was not "tree" it was "FOREST".

I take a breath, and say the word aloud. The power that flowed out from that circle was... awe inspiring. For miles and miles, oak trees suddenly grew and flourished. An old-growth forest where previously there was nothing but barren fields. I fell to one knee with the force of the power that coursed through me with the spell, and thanked both Leilanna and Sylvana for the gift. 

I sadly was not able to remember the word that Leilanna spoke to me, but the knowledge that my goddess and she are able to work together in such harmonious concert has given me a shining ray of hope for saving the sylvan tree.  

We emerged from the new - old - forest, and went back over to the farm and the awestruck farmers.. and the wide eyes of the rest of the party members as well.  Lan had, as she does as Leilanna's avatar, fallen over dead when Leilanna had appeared in my mind, and had not yet come back to her body.

As the party  members checked on her, and made her comfortable until her return, we saw three clerics approaching on the road.

They approached the farm warily, and asked who the cleric responsible for the forest was. I stepped forward, flanked by Tobias and Shalev, and said that it was a joint effort to restore the area. They didn't understand me, but they understood the gesture. They blinked at me, and then at the translation that Shalev provided. They then stood aside, and revealed Ahkmar - the paladin that traveled with them. He offered his extreme gratitude and asked what they could do in return for such a monumental deed.

We point out Lan - who had still not returned to her body - and he did a laying on of hands for her. When she returned, she informed us that we were far more successful than we had ever dreamed of being. The oak forest stretched for seven days ride, all the way down to the swamp, and then continue on into the swamp as a cypress forest. She also informed us that there was indeed a great evil in the swamp.

Ahkmar said that he had also heard of the evil, and we asked him and his clerics to tell us what they could about Waycom, as well as the evil plaguing this area.

I tasked the farmers, with Shalev's translations, to care for the forest, and to replant the acorns. I taught them about reforesting, and the 10 year cycle that it would take to maintain the health of the forest. Now that the forest was there, game would return, hunting would be better; but it would also be easier for bandits and brigands to hide, so they would need to take precautions. I said that it was fine to use the trees for lumber - they could build a house with wooden walls instead of mud and wattle. Fences for their fields, and of course, barrels for their liquor; but that they must maintain a respect for the forest that provided such bounty to them.

Shalev, surprisingly, pointed out to KelLyn that these priests of Divination might be able to provide her with information regarding the pieces of her lost staff. I say surprisingly, because of the urgency that I know he still feels regarding the death of his father, and finding information regarding the matter. That, and the recent animosity between the two, coupled with the fact that she very rarely shows him thanks for things like this, made me raise an eyebrow in silent query. But they provided her with the answers she sought nonetheless. The answers were vague descriptors, but it is a far cry more than what we knew before. I wonder if she will rein in her tendency to snipe at him for a time, as a way of thanks?

He then asked Ahkmar if it would be possible to discern information about his father's death. They agreed to also look into it, but warned him it would take some time. The farmers agreed to let them stay as long as they needed, as having them there would ensure the safety of the farm for a time.

As oracles, I am interested in talking to them as well, for a multitude of reasons. They might know of someone who can help further my studies and abilities as a Sacred Druid. They might also know of a way for me to breech the block in my memories to recall who I once was, who I am still.

We do plan to return to this farm, as they have been good to us, and Shalev has an interest in setting up a trade agreement for the corn alcohol that they make. Amusingly enough, in every group that we have encountered so far, there was someone who knew him - or knew OF him, or his family - a point which made Fife display mock aggravation. This farming community is no exception, as the cloth that the farmer's wive was weaving into lace was from Shalev's family. 

Shalev seems bemused that his reputation precedes him, and has made the decision that this new found fame of his means that he need always be on his best behavior. He does honor to his position as Paladin of Ma'at, I think, as he errs on the side of quite literal truth in everything he says.

In the mean time, there is the growing evil to contend with, and the spells we did here are likely to sound as beacons of forewarning to whatever is there. It knows we are coming, and now it knows that we are powerful. 

Best laid plans...

Time.
Such a fleeting thing. 

Even I, who have existed for millennia and will continue to exist long after, can sometimes feel the urgent press of NOW. I wonder how the shorter lived races deal with the constant urgent need that time presents them: a seemingly relentless and continuous flow of time in everyday life. It can be maddening. 

Moments, Days, Weeks, Months, Years... all delineations of something that can not be really cataloged properly. 

However eternal I may be, I can not argue that time seems against us for this current set of goals we have set out to achieve. 

.oOo..oOo..oOo.

KelLyn made a request of her brother - the captain of the ship we traveled on - if they could make a stop at Blackmoore. It seems a former lover of hers, the late bard Taryn, had left something there in the city that she wished to retrieve. Her brother agreed to make the stop, as he needed to re-provision anyway, and also made mention of the fact that he could get some books for her from the local magic guild.

She was quite enthusiastic about it, although I have noticed that she does not actively study the books that she currently has in her possession. I wonder if it is a proclivity of being a magic user then, to want things simply for the sake of possessing them? 

So we made port at Blackmoore, and her brother set off to retrieve the things he had promised.  KelLyn and Fife attempt to make it over to the Bard's College to pick up the belongings she wanted to pick up from them. Fife is quick to bribe guards when necessary, and also quick to sell stories of the party's adventures... something that I could see being potentially problematic later. Especially  if we ever want to attempt to keep a low profile. 

They made it over to the College, but returned empty handed. A pair of bards approached the ship, but they remained on the dock, as we would not and could not grant them permission aboard the vessel. They told us tales of a rebellion in Una Thrakis, and of a giant elf named Mar Llwellyn ("darkness of the sea") who leads them. 

Shalev asked of stories from home, and they regaled us with news of the rebellions and uprisings in the deserts, as well as stories of the healing cups that KelLyn is seeking. 

They also had some useful information regarding the artifact known as "Melcor's Bow" which the Maker first told us about. It would seem that it is currently in the court of the gnomish king - Damishan - and encased within a solidified volcano. It's something to make note of, in any case, if we ever run across the gnomes that Ishmael and Shalev seem so keen to find. 

KelLyn's brother had not returned by nightfall, and though she was concerned, she agreed that we should wait until morning to raise any alarm.

the next morning, however, the party woke to find that the ship had set sail once again. 

I do not know what occurred on the ship - ocean travel makes me horribly uncomfortable, so I remained below decks in deep meditations - though Tobias and Shalev tell me that there was some trouble involving KelLyn's brother being horribly wounded, Lan summoning a redcapped fae creature who began slaughtering the crew members, and the fight with it when they found it trying to kill the Captain as well. 

Due to an oversight, intentional misunderstanding, or just a desire to have us removed from his ship, KelLyn's brother did NOT drop us off near Ambralia as we asked, and instead we disembarked at a small fishing village named Wimmesey. Half again the distance away from where we wanted to be. 

While we were gathering supplies and equipment for land travel once again, and trying to orient ourselves on where we were versus where we need to go; a second ship docked and a small army of people wearing gleaming silver armor appeared. Tobias and KelLyn reacted negatively to the sight of these knights, as apparently they had run-ins with them before that resulted in the death of one of their party members previously. 

The party decided to track the band of knights, and deal with them first. Tobias and I scouted ahead several times,  but even though they left the little village only about a day before we did, we continued to fall behind for some reason. I let Tobias use my stargem that allows for silent movement, and he used his speed to run ahead to determine how far they actually were. 

He returned to the party the next night, completely exhausted, but after he had recovered, he informed us that they were using magic of some kind to speed their travel and that they seemed to be an illusion or unaffected by direct confrontation. 

KelLyn made an attempt to cast a similar spell to aid in quick travel, but her magic went haywire again, and she instead managed to create another gigantic fairy ring. Lan attempted then to summon another fairy creature to see if she could convince them to aid us. 

Instead she summoned the Old Woman of the Mountain - who instantly took a dislike to "hunter types" and to Fife in particular. I am guessing because he killed the fairy over off of the shores of Penicia all those months ago. She agreed to impede the progress of the band of knights in return for allowing one of her hunters to fire a single arrow at Fife in retribution for her dead kin. 

Fife agreed to the bargain, somewhat irritated at the fact that Shalev and I expressed that his life was not for bargain, and the Old Woman disappeared. 

Three days later we caught up to the band of knights and mages at their camp. It seems that their tracking spells had gone awry, and that they were having difficulty determining which way they should be going. 

Instead of attempting to take them unawares, and using stealth to our advantage, KelLyn decides to walk right up on the road past the camp. She stops to talk to them, giving away ANY chance that we might have had at subterfuge, and a fight breaks out when one of their mages calls her an "apprentice." 

Shalev and Lan had remained hidden with the caravan and supplies, and I wish to some degree that I had decided to remain with them. KelLyn excels in starting unnecessary fights, and I wonder if, at some point, she will start a fight that we can't win. 

I remained at the edge of the road, still under partial cover of the forest, and used my bow to some effect - although the armor that the knights wore was quite effective, so I wasted more arrows than I used helpfully. Ishmael shone through as an efficient and powerful melee fighter in this though, and it was his hand to hand and proficiency with his mace that gained us the most advantage. 

The Captain of the band, and the two mages were dispatched, and the rest of the knights were beginning to engage the fight when the Old Woman showed back up with her hunter. I have never seen an albino elf before, and I don't think it was actually an elf at all, really. Fae are capricious and tricky, but they seem to hold to the letter of the bargain they strike. 

One arrow was fired at Fife, which shattered against him without causing too much harm. The Old Woman then completely stopped the fight, and told us we could move on without additional confrontation, with the warning that if she saw "anything else being thrown through the air with intent to harm, that they (we) would never leave her mountainside." 

We quickly gathered our things and moved on. KelLyn seems to be in the throes of a deep depression, and refuses to do anything. She requires constant supervision now, and will not even do basic things to care for herself. 

After about a day or two of easy travel down the road, we came to a pair of standing stones carved with a druidic warning to "Beware the Old Woman of the Mountain" and an immensely powerful holy field that stretched for hundreds of yards around the area. 

I... felt it. I felt that the field was holy. I could touch the stones and feel the power resonating from them. 

I could feel it. 

My connection to the Sacred has either repaired itself, been returned to me, or whatever caused the block no longer has a hold on me. 

Regardless of why, my druidic powers have returned. I was wary at first, hardly daring to believe the sensation wasn't just caused by the overwhelming power of the stones we stood in. I attempted one of my very easy spells, and was thankfully, and joyously successful. 

I will continue to meditate and study the book, but now that my connection to the Sacred is whole again, it is my hope to increase knowledge and power. All things in balance.. and knowing HOW to use my gift is just as important as knowing when.

I do hope, against all hope, that the sylvan sapling in Tir na'Friar has gone dormant. I could not bear to think of it suffering through another immolation - especially now that the Maker is not there to help sustain it. The ent that I spoke with in the Druidhome grove said that if the sapling has the will to remain, that it will survive.

There is so much that needs to be done still, and things we MUST do before we can even attempt to remove the tree from the city. 

I can only pray for time now. But now, at least, I have some small degree of hope that my prayers might be heard. 

Back to the beginning

In more ways than one. 

This road has been long. We find ourselves, yet again, at the beginning of this path. Back on a ship and headed to Alexarta. Which means we are once more on the path toward Qualton, and to Tir na'Friar.

All things are circular, and cyclical.
It seems we still have things to do here before we can proceed onward.  I feel as if I have been given a second chance to correct the misconceptions I had when I was here previously. A second chance to save the sylvan tree, and to restore balance to this area. I mean to take it this time. 

Perhaps by taking my focus off of the minutiae of faith, and focusing once again on the balance of life around me, I have found the quiet voice of guidance again. Even I can still be caught up in the excitement of something new. I was so focused on the smaller things that I lost sight of the larger. My faith has not yet been restored to me, but I feel like I am on the right path after all. 

So I have also come back to the beginning. Maybe it will ultimately bring me clarity at last. 

.oOo..oOo..oOo..oOo.

The party continued on the road towards DragonSpire, discussing what might happen when we encounter the dragons there. 

The whole conversation makes me uneasy, as dragons are volatile at best, and I don't think they will be willing to simply let us in. The fact that the dragons are responsible for the eradication of the druids as they were doesn't do much to settle my thoughts. 

I made a comment that there was a better than average chance that the dragons might want to kill us ... me.. on sight, but it was taken badly, so I refrained from commenting further. 

I've still been somewhat lost in introspection since the Maker left us. He gave me much to consider, and the continued disconnection from the Sacred has left me feeling somewhat bereft. 

After we had crossed through another plain, and come upon the bottom of a black stone ridgeline, Kel Lyn made mention of a very strong residual magic that she sensed. She believes that the ridgeline is where she and some previous party members accidentally caused a tower to explode. She cast a spell to determine where the energy was coming from, and recalled that this plain was cursed by an extremely strong Destroy Plant spell, in an effort of the mage from the then-tower to destroy the druids. 

I wonder at the utter destruction of the druids. Why? Was the world so out of balance that it required the death of an entire people to restore it? What happened that caused such hatred towards those druids of long ago? 

The more I hear, read, and learn about the death of those that came before me, the more wary I am of making my own powers known. Perhaps it is for the best that I cannot access my connection at the moment? 

After another week's worth of travel, we encountered an ancient forest. Old growth, and an extremely holy place. It took us two days to reach the center of the grove, where there was an enormous tree with crimson colored bark. The other party members called it a "redwood", and I - with all of my years - have never seen an entity quite like it. 

My faith might be broken, but my respect towards nature remains. Entranced by the giant before me, I walked up to the tree and put a hand on it in a greeting. It's odd to describe the communion that happened between us, the tree and I. I don't even know if it's something that those with limited life spans could comprehend.

The oldest living things in the world. Ages unnumbered have nourished us, and we stand in absolute serenity, shedding years and cares like drops of rain. Time, the slow, measured passage of eons, is more like one giant river. Flowing ceaselessly from beginning towards some incomprehensible goal. Centered and balanced, the tree and I exist. His roots reach deep within the earth, his branches reach high into the interminable sky. As above, so below. 
In connecting with the smaller things, the cycle of life here, the give-and-take; I also connect with the larger universe.  

I do not know how long I sat against that tree. All else faded except that shared moment of calm certainty. 

The next morning, there was a second, smaller tree there beside the great heart of the grove. An Ent. The Keeper looked at me, and with tears in my eyes, I spoke with him. I asked for guidance, and I told him of the sylvan tree that I am striving to save, and I asked if he might be able to provide some instruction on what I should do.

He told me that The things which are part of my tradition are those things which I must do. He reminded me of the symmetry inherent in Elven tradition, and reminded me too of the circular nature of the druidic traditions. There should be a way to repair what is broken. 

Then he took the book that I was given, The Initiate's Guide to Sacred Druidry, and he turned it over. Upside down and reversed, he bade me read it again. 

Elves have a gift of perfection in speech that - in his measured words- is almost Ent-like. He told me that if carefully managed and studied, that which is done can be undone. He said that he did not know how to heal the sylvan tree, but he said that if the tree had the energy and the desire to live, then it would continue on. I asked him what I can do to help him as thanks for the peace of mind he has given. He replied that I was not yet ready to help him, but that I could return when I am. 

Kel Lyn offered to make him some rocks to use in defense and protection of his grove. He agreed, and she began crafting rocks and boulders with her magic. She botched a spell, and the haywire magic went into the giant redwood. I reached out to touch the tree to make sure it was not harmed, and found myself underground in the roots of the tree as it decided at that moment to impart a gift of knowledge to me. 

The giant taught me a spell that will allow me to locate water sources, with distance and direction of each source provided.

Once the tree had completed the teaching, I was released from the earth, and the party rested for another day to make certain that I was fit to travel. 

I made note of the grove in my journal, and hope to return someday. The giant heart, and his Keeper have much that they could teach me, I wager. The serenity that they were able to help me attain, however, is something I have no way to thank them for. Reminding me of who I am.. of what I am.. and allowing me to refocus has been a priceless gift. 

In the road out of the grove, there are fields and fields of odd looking plants with large green leaves and sweet-smelling yellow flowers (strawberry plants) I gently transplanted two into a container to carry with me, in hopes that I may cultivate them for my own gardens later. 

After we had been on the road for about a week, we came to a ridge line, and a large black stone wall in the distance. Kel Lyn says that this is where there was a curse on the land that she and some previous party members helped to break, and that there was a mage tower here that they accidentally caused to explode. 

Accidents seem to happen quite a lot around her, I've noticed. Perhaps the lack of control is due to her age. Tobias confirmed that this was where the tower was, and where he found the elven emperor's armor that he now wears. 

Shalev slaughters one of the oxen, as we needed to replenish our food stores before undertaking the trek across the barren ridgeline. Amit was given the largest portion of the carcass, and we all eat well. The rest of the meat is preserved carefully and added to our travel rations, and after a day of rest and preparing, we head across the ridgeline. 

It takes us about 5 days to reach the bottom of the first ridge, and another 10 to reach the top of the next. We reached a plateau here, where there is a sixty foot crater in the center. Kel Lyn says that this is where the tower used to be. She casts a spell, and too late, remembers that there is a magical defense still remaining over this place that triggers a violent electrical storm. We all go to the center of the crater, as it is the lowest point that we can safely go to to avoid the lightning that flashes down around us. 

Kel Lyn attempts another spell in Fyrewerian to create shelter for us, and accidentally ends up transporting us across the continent to the shores of Darkmoor, in Penicia. 

She is quite upset about being here, and is acting rather irrationally. She's quite incoherent about anything other than getting away from this place. I gather that this is where she is originally from, and that she left under a certain amount of duress. We travel to the main harbor, trying to convince KelLyn to remain hidden, but she is behaving unreasonably, and will not listen to what we are trying to tell her. 

Shalev uses his family name, and his own nobility to gain us passage on a ship in the Grey Harbor, and lodgings in the Golden Swan inn. While we are there at the inn, he acts with accordance to his nobility, and we are given quite a lavish meal. I noticed that the nobles of the town who were here all vied to be seen in view of him, and I wonder if he realizes that it is HE that draws the respect and attention, not his family name. I am introduced as his advisor, and Tobias and the rest of the party are introduced as his bodyguards and maidservants to maintain the impression. 

The meal provided to us is full of delicacies and is quite delightfully flavored. I will hand it to him, he knows how to make an impression, my student. 

After a night in the inn where we are all able to refresh and rest, we make our way down to the docks to find the captain Mauri Lyn to book us passage back to Ambralia. 

It turns out that this is KelLyn's brother, and there is a moment of instant recognition between them. He tells her - somewhat angrily - that their father is dead, because of the price on her head, but agrees to carry us away from the city with all haste. We board the ship, and as soon as we set sail, we are attacked by two assassins from the Black Hand, who are after KelLyn They are dispatched in rather short (and messy) order, and KelLyn notes with wry amusement that these assassins bear the sigil of her goddess Leilanna. 

Perhaps she needs to have a conversation or two with her deity. 

Thankfully the rest of the trip goes uneventfully, and we arrive at the port of Ambralia. 

So here we are again. Back to the beginning of the road we were travelling. 

Things have come full circle in more ways than one. Now that we are back here, I have every intent on visiting Qualton again, to see what information can be gathered in speaking to the vintner and his family. Then there's Basil and his gardens. We could use a restocking of healing potions, and I need to check on the entlings he has there. The ranger encampment outside of the city also bears visiting, as they have completed the compound bow that they started to build for me. 

Then the next step is to take care of the sylvan tree, and the evil that lies below the elven city of Tir na'Friar. If I can safely remove the tree, then I will carry it back to Basil's gardens, or the family of vintners to care for and restore. Perhaps in restoring the tree, my own connection to the Sacred will also be repaired. 

But in the mean time, I have found what peace I can. I will continue on, and I will maintain as I always have, the serenity and ageless wisdom of who I am. 

Who am I?

I am conflicted.

Adrift and lost and questioning everything I've ever known.

Even my god and goddess don't speak to me. If they are even a god and goddess. Elves don't have deities, as it were, but we do honor those that came before.

Perhaps that is yet another mistake that I have made. Have I put faith in the wrong things, and elevated where I should have only honored?

My faith is broken, and I don't know what to believe anymore.

How painfully ironic that they call me the Mistress of Memory, when time itself has caused me to forget the core of what makes me who I am.

Have I also forgotten what it means to truly be an elf?
Is it even possible for me to re-learn?

I am immortal. I am gifted with long-sight, and I am one of the undying.

and yet..

and yet.

.oOo..oOo..oOo..oOo.

We managed to survive the city. As distasteful as I find that place, those people, I know I must go back eventually. There is work there that needs to be done, and the tree remains. This current crisis of faith I am experiencing began there. Something tells me that it will end there, for better or worse, as well.

The rest of the party managed somehow to break into the Inner Circle of the city. Lan came in as her water-faring seal form, chasing some sort of fey creature appearing as a small humanoid. This caused a distraction enough for Shalev, Fife, Ishmael and the rest to enter unmolested.

Ishmael caused further distraction by shouting out to the armed guards that the city's gardens were on fire.
Appropriately then, most of the citizens left at that point to go protect their property.

They saw Tobias bristled and ready for war, and they heard my scream when I discovered the unknown immortal was still alive.

Shalev, Lan, and Ishmael climbed down the pit to the bottom to see what was revealed, and to act as guard against anything that might come up. I began removing the unknown immortal, as gently as I could, from the entangling roots of the tree.

While I was working at removing him from the wall, the little humanoid fey - Lan called him a leprechaun-  stood there looking between the unknown immortal and myself, saying that he was deciding on what shiny thing that he was promised to take. He took the crown from the unknown immortal's head, and vanished.

As soon as he did, the glow from my own pendant dissipated. With Tobias and Fife's help, I was able to pull the wounded immortal up out of the pit. Once he was safely on the ground, I began focusing on doing what I could to heal him. My faith doesn't work here. But I have potions, thanks to Shalev's forethought and gift for preparedness.

So I used them. It took so many.
So many.
Each scream he uttered was a wound to my heart. I continued talking to him, soothing him, and feeding the healing potions to him until, at last, he was whole. He slept then, deeply unconscious, and my goal became to get him out of the city safely. I noticed that once he was removed from the tree, the energy from the tree began to diminish.

While I was concentrating on this task, the rest of the party was acting as guard, and Shalev discovered that the lady of the city was not registering as being real to him, when he tried to sense her alignment. She continued to stare venomously at me specifically - as she had the moment I walked into the Inner ring of the city - but took no action.

This makes some sense to me, and possibly confirms my fear that these people are under some form of direct influence or corruption. Potentially they have been from the beginning. I think she is the key to that influence.

But they will have to wait.

We managed to make it out of town unmolested and unharmed, and I insisted that we travel a good bit away. I have every intention of returning here to save the tree, if at all possible. These people have said that they wish to be separate. So separate they shall be. May they get exactly what they desire.

As it was the Spring Equinox, I did attempt to do the springtime rituals, as appropriate; but to no avail. I have no contact, no connection, nothing. There's nothing.

Rituals done, we agreed to travel onward, toward the Library (DragonSpire) as originally planned.
I continued to monitor the progress of the unknown elf, but he remained unconscious and unresponsive. Alive and warm, but unresponsive.

The roads we traveled took us across a giant plain, which according to the description given to me by the vintner from Qualton, is where the humans gather once a year. There were several obvious campsites, and firepits scattered across the plain, but there were no humans, or any other beings here at the time we travelled through. On the other side, was a very old forest, though only a forest. No sentience here that could be sensed. I noticed that there was an odd pattern, where every third tree was completely withered.

As we continued to travel, we crossed under the mountain range, and then up over a massive river. We came to another ancient forest. There was a wooden latticework of vines that formed a gate of sorts, and the words DruidHome formed in the living vines above the entrance.

We entered the gates and came to a ring of standing stones in the center. There was a beam of green energy that shone from the center of the standing stones up to a floating island above the forest.
We stopped here, as it was close to the Solstice, and this seemed like a safe place to be.

Safe place it was, as we made camp, and were able to rest the night without event or encounter. We woke the next morning to the sound of metal being worked. We went over to investigate, and found that the unknown immortal was awake, and working on repairing one of Tobias' weapons which had been damaged in breaking the gates to the city open. He had no anvil, no hammers, he simply held the mace and worked with his bare hands.

Ishmael was instantly and avidly curious about his ability, and even more so when He asked for Ishmael to sing for the water, as he learned from the old dwarf back in Grolsh.

While he was working with the weapons, Shalev approached him and requested that a weapon be crafted out of the strange bronze metal that he's been carrying with him.

The elf agreed, and crafted a beautifully formed scimitar out of the material, much to Shalev's delight. It still needs a hilt before it can be adequately wielded, but the weapon itself is strong and true.

He is a Maker.
One of the first of us.

He said that time itself is what's blocking my memory. That I have forgotten how to *sing* and had become "too much a part" of this world.  He had no answers for me. I thought perhaps that we were kin.. that he was family. In a way he is. Am I one of them as well? Have I forgotten, and therefore become separate?

But it has awakened that pain of longing inside me that I thought I had gotten over long ago. The desire to know what happened. To know why I can't remember. To understand what exactly it is that I have forgotten.

It's not the same.

I asked what happened and why. He said that he was sustaining the tree, not the other way around. and that he did so because he knew that he would long-outlive those that were doing it to him.

I..

What have I done?

In choosing to rescue him, have I condemned the tree?
Have I become so short-sighted?

I looked at him, with tears in my eyes, and said that I felt lost.

He smiled and told me precisely where I was located.

In the middle of the standing stones of DruidHome, on the southern continent.
North of the Great Valley
East of the ancient crypts of the Imperial Order
West of the great desert
South of the tower of the last of the students of the last of the Fyrewerians

Which isn't at all what I meant.

The information, as valuable as it was, did not help soothe the ache in my heart, or ease my uncertainty. It did nothing to give me hope.

I still have so many questions.

He began to draw on the stones at that point, opening a gate to ...elsewhere. Kellyn looked on with keen interest, as the symbols he was etching into the stone were Fyrewerian symbols for "here" and "there"

The gate opened, showing the brilliant shine of the North Star, and a ship sailed through enough for him to board.

It was then that I felt a memory release. A thread loosening in the tight knot of blocked (or forgotten) remembrance in my mind. The two first trees, created as beacons. One of these was taken up and made into the North Star, to act as a constant point for navigation.

The trees now shine in memory of those first two, as a taste of the starlight, and to remember and remind us where they.. and we.. are from.

He then looked at each of the party, and smiled, saying to each of us to continue on. And he left, the shining gate closing behind him.

After he left, I sat down and performed a ritual for summer, not expecting it to work. It didn't, but I did feel some small spark of rightness there about what was done.

and then I cried. I sat down in the center of that blue stone circle, and I let the tears fall down my face in a way that I haven't done in millenia.

I cried for what I have forgotten.
I cry for the hint of who I was.
I cried for that lost taste of starlight.
I cry for all that I know I still must do, and the overwhelming feeling of being lost.

For there is still much to do, and I will - as I have apparently always done - remain here.